Thursday, August 04, 2011

I sense a change in the tide...

To me, the ocean is a vast expanse of space, kind of what I see representing my life in a way. As currents ebb and flow so things in my life change. From being this happy go lucky Northern California Girl to meeting my husband and quickly becoming best of friends with him, to falling head over heels in love with him.  Love...Why else would I marry a career military man and move away from everything and everyone I loved and cherished? Our love brought us two beautiful children, and his career moved us around the USA and even brought us to England. But the depths of the glorious Ocean, which can seem to go on for forever are not as deep as we think they are. The waves of his military career, the ones that brought us back to America and with it retirement. It was the end of what I've considered a sort of vagabond life style. Granted we've never moved as much as many other of my husbands contemporaries have (of which I am grateful). I got to experience life in so many different places and I've collected many seashells along the way. The last couple of years I put myself on hold and even now, I find that I'm still waiting for all of me to come back together. Like a vision, I see that coming, I can sense it's going to it happen. Not right now at this very moment or anything crazy, but it's there and I feel it circling around me like water in a tidal pool.

Being here in this apartment for as long as we have has given me an insight to myself- I need to constantly keep my mind and my hands busy. Alright, so I already knew that about myself. The part of me that really came to focus is that I'm always worried that whatever I do, that no one will take me seriously. I dislike feeling that way but there it is. I really do feel as if my life can be summed up to being something similar to the sea grass of the coastal marsh lands- always changing and adapting. 

1 comment:

Sharon said...

What life changing events you've experienced lately! It sounds like the reality of retirement from military life is finally sinking in and you are getting emotionally ready to move on to the next big adventure. Have fun and keep us informed!

Sharon (Army brat and veteran)