Monday, July 11, 2011

Life's embarrassing moments

I've survived several of life's little embarrassing moments today.
As in... I survived the embarrassment of having several strangers (although they were health care professionals) touch, hold and exam my breast today ( I started to wonder if this is what cantaloupe feels like in the produce section of the grocery store). I survived having several needles of various lengths and gauges (thickness of said needles) poke into said breast (just call me the human pin cushion). I survived the embarrassing experience of shopping for a sports bra so I can wear it for the next 24 to 48 hours plus to wear it at night for the next week (there are somethings that women who have a D cup or larger should not attempt to wear and this IS one of them).  I thought when trying on those stupid sports bras that I was going to need to have the jaws of life remove it from my body because it was squeezing me so damn hard that I could barely breathe. Then I realized that I had the wrong size, I was shaking my head at myself thinking "Now what part of me thought that this was a good thing to try to do?". So I survived the shopping experience- one I hope to not to have to ever do again!
Those anti anxiety pills...I highly recommend them. They don't make you loopy, they just make it so your heart is beating so fast that if you were a humming bird you'd be flying around.
 The more I think about it, the more I wonder who in the mammography department didn't see my naked upper body today?  Seriously, this is just too darn funny the more I think about it. (insert laughter here).  There are times in one's life where you just shake your head and think "Thank the Lord that that is over" and yes folks, today's experience was one of those kinds of "moments".
I still have my humor and am still laughing at how I went in feeling as nervous as I could possibly be and end out coming out of this experience feeling like I'm Erma Bombeck and making fun of the entire ordeal from shopping for a sports bra to wear after the procedure to feeling like Elsie the cow when I had to lie down on a table and hang my breast down through a hole and be squeezed like an orange being juiced so the doctor could stick needles into me like a pin cushion. Oh yeah, Loads of fun here people! BUT and it's a big one too...humor will save you even in the most embarrassing situations (you've just got to trust me on this one). All of the doctors, nurses and technicians were gentle, treated me with respect and even better they all laughed at my jokes :-) If you lose the ability to laugh at yourself, then you lose the ability to enjoy life.  So be well everyone and get out there and laugh at life's ridiculous moments!

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