Nerves...

My nerves are frazzled, it's to do with all of my thinking about the future and what it has to hold...for me and for us as a couple and a family. Retirement from the Air Force is a big step, it's all I've known with my husband for the past twenty plus years. The continuous cycle of making new friends when we move and my jumping right in and getting involved the various military spouse social groups is about to come to a close and it makes me a little sad. All of this is a new adventure I tell myself and moving is an adventure all unto it's self.

Now for me to look at the calendar and choose dates for the movers to come pack up our stuff, when to ship out our cars, making travel arrangements for our family and guests to attend my husbands retirement ceremony. Then there's the ceremony it's self. As you know this kind of thing always puts a huge lump in my throat, they're my favorite kind of ceremony to attend and now I'm planning one for my husband...for us. All this I am preparing to do while my heart is pounding away in my chest like a freight train and tears stream down my cheeks.

There are still so many things I want to do while we're here and well I have a feeling that they are not going to come to fruition. Silly things like a trip to Stoke on Trent with my girlfriends for one last shopping spree (yes my thing is pottery and not clothing, weird right?). I wanted for the the 3 of us (me, my husband and daughter) to be able to spend a 4 day weekend in Paris- not sure if that will be possible with the time crunch now upon us. I wanted to take Hannah to see Phantom of the Opera in London, still waiting on that one- although she did see it in New York in October, I still haven't seen it. I want to host a luncheon/afternoon tea at my house for a select handful of friends- I hope I can wing that one! As I said, it's silly things really.

I suppose that I should get back to things...back to organizing and rearranging my china cabinet. Usually mindless little things like that give me pleasure- today it just makes me feel, well rather melancholy.