Tuesday, January 09, 2007

My Parents

I haven't talked much about my parents, they too are sort of a private thing. But I know that some of my dearest friends read my blog and I want to keep you all informed of what has been going on with regards to my parents.

My dear Mom is going in for total hip replacement surgery today. In December 2004 she had emergency surgery and had a partial hip replacement, July 2005 she fell again but on the opposite side and broke the other hip (getting old sucks). She had such a bad year in 2004...she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer of the vagina and rectum, chemo and radiation left her frail and weak. Hence her slipping, falling and breaking her hip the first time. So after falling in the garden in July 2005 they called the ambulance right away and off she went to get pins put into her hip. Okay it's been over a year and her leg has never been right. She's been in pain and after many doctor appointments and x-rays they figured out that the pins are the problem. So today my dear old Mom is having total hip replacement surgery. Last night on the phone with her I told her that she's now going to be known as Bionic Granny, she laughed. I pray that things go well for her and that this surgery will leave her feeling better and not in pain.

About my wasn't until July 2005 when my Mom fell in the garden and broke her other hip that problems with my Dad's health were revealed to myself and the rest of our family. My Dad had collapsed in the bathroom and was unconscious and or unable to get up from the floor for 3 days. It wasn't until my urging of some family friends either to break into the house to to call the police and have them do it that my Dad was discovered near death on the floor. Things haven't been "quite right" with my Dad for a while...a long while. But as you grow old together you aren't willing to see all what is wrong with your life partner, you're there to pick up where the other can't go on, it's how we're wired. While my Dad was in hospital is when we got the news...he has advanced Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. I can't begin to tell you how everyone took that news. Some family members were in denial about it saying that the doctors are wrong. So here's my fragile Mom with a 2nd hip surgery under her belt, having been through stage 3 cancer, chemo and radiation therapy. There is no way on this earth that she could take care of him now. I flew out to help my Mom during her recovery from her 2nd surgery and to help her with the decision of putting my Dad into a permanent care was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It's hard for me to think that this is how my parents are spending their life savings on...a health care facility. I have always seen my parents a healthy vibrant active people then "this" happened, if you look at it from the outside, it seems to have come out of no where. But after getting my mom to open up to me more, it's been something that been gradually coming on for years, she always thought that it was because they were just getting on in their years. The signs of my Dad having Parkinson's has been around for at least a decade same goes with the Alzheimer's. It's all very sad. Most times my Dad remembers me as an 11 or 12 year old girl other times he remembers me when I was in college and there are times when he remembers me as I am now, the protector of my family the woman who won't take crap (as in being bullied or pushed around)and stands up for what is right...even when it's not the popular thing to do so.

I love my parents with all my heart and will always be there for them. I think about them every single day, always have them in my prayers. I let them do what they want to do, after all they are adults :-)

No comments: